Pottery

Things I have learned in a warm pottery studio; 

I value things that require workmanship.  Truly everything has its own energy, and something a human poured labor, love & craftsmanship into will provide more joy then something mass manufactured from a machine.  I would love knowing the farmers who made the food, inside a bowl in which I know the maker, sitting on a table in which was sanded by a hardworking hand.  A daily way to trace back and give gratitude to the source. 

Pottery makes me a more generous person.  I have never been a person who enjoys giving gifts.  I am not a material person and have always felt things have weight so I never wanted to burden people with stuff.  But while we are certainly filling our cupboards and shelves with some of my creations it became obvious very quickly that I would be giving some away.  And I have come to find that it isn't at all about the thing itself.  Whether my piece forever sits on their shelves or gets a sticker on it at a garage sale to be given to the next person, it is that care and love I am gifting.  A small gift as a way of sharing how I feel for them.  

I love the mess.  I mean lets be honest, I already knew this one.  If you did one of those word maps of my blog I am certain mess and imperfections would be big and bold.  I am constantly telling couples I want to capture what is real and imperfect and meaningful on their wedding day.  The interesting new insight pottery gave me was turning the mirror on my own business philosophy.  While I was busy telling my couples not to stress about their wedding days being perfect, I certainly was not extending that grace on my own photography work.  Walking into my wedding season I realized I was placing an unbelievably high expectation on myself to capture every wedding perfectly.   While that is good in theory (because obviously I want to give my couples the best possible photos) the problem with demanding perfection is that it closes off the opportunity to take some creative risks and continue to grow.   Picking up this new creative outlet reminded me that you have to continue to push yourself, get messy, make some mistakes, and probably make a couple things that aren't as pretty (like a coffee mug with way to small of handle!) in order to continue learning.  

I want to continue seeking things that open me up.  Simply put, the warmth this pottery studio has brought to my heart extends so much farther then the cupboard now filled with bowls.   

Miryah & Michael | Cape Kiwanda, Oregon Engagement

Photographing Miryah and Michael felt like a day spent with old friends.  Not an ounce of it felt like work as we simply did what they love, explored a new place together, and I was so happy to be invited to come along.  I still have a suitcase full of clothes that smell of campfire smoke and I can't yet get myself to unpack them.  And instead of telling you what these images mean for me, I will share what was in my inbox after they viewed them: 

"You've captured us and our hearts for adventure so perfectly, it's just simply the most beautiful and raw reflection of us.  It's almost like looking at your own relationship from an outside view as a witness, and seeing all the love and joy as tangible, captured in beautiful snapshots...everything you already know you felt inside, exposed to the world."

Centering

I don't know why I repeatedly correlate success with being able to do all the things all the time.  How I almost feel boastful as I tell people I am busy and run along to the next place, only to hit a wall 3 days later.  I have basically realized the limits of my "woman pulling it all off" is about 10 days.  After that you will find me to many days in to be pulling off the messy unshowered look, and either in tears or sleeping.  Yet for some reason I repeatedly put myself through that cycle.  Moving farther and farther from a healthy center and then crashing back in.  Then I rebuild with only the basics, the things that make me feel most alive.  I get back to a happy place, and then I begin adding on again.  

This is actually just my thoughts jotted down as I come out of another I-pushed-too-hard-and-now-I-am-spent cycle, so I can not offer a nicely buttoned resolution.   But maybe someone is nodding along thinking "I feel ya girl".  And honesty is refreshing. 

P.S.  I love the group of women, that for over a year now have helped me to continue to share little pieces and images of myself over on The Story of Me Project.