Sacred Small Spaces

Tis the season for gathering!  First Rich and I headed to Wisconsin to celebrate with Rich's side of the family, where we ate warm meals, explored in the snow, and basically camped out by the fireplace for two days sharing stories with family.  It was a beautiful home, filled with just as wonderful people.  It was hard to imagine a Christmas away from my own family, but what a blessing the family I am entering has become. As my immediate family expands to add in fiancées, scheduling our own holiday celebrations have become a bit more difficult.  So we became the hosts this year, due to being a middle ground meeting place.  This meant squeezing all our family (and some friends) into our little two bedroom apartment for the weekend.  It was quickly filled  with cooking, games, presents, laughter, all the best of Christmas, and of course, a whole lot of love.

I even heard my dad say "there is something nice about a small kitchen, it brings everyone close"   This year for me, Christmas was found in the sacred small spaces I shared with the ones I love.

"Awakening the Spark"

I found myself randomly breaking out in tears one evening a few months ago.  I didn't know how it had happened, but I felt like I was at a stand still.  Maybe it was because it has gotten cold, or because it gets dark so early.  Or maybe its because I don't have to make as much painter's tape in the winter (my 9-5 job is in the tape industry if you didn't know).  But life seemed to be moving slowly. Occasionally life can burn you out, make you feel not good enough, make you question what you are doing here and what it all means.  Sometimes it's long days in an office cube, sometimes you're sick for the holidays, sometimes you forget your passions and just sink in your heels and simply go through the motions...

And that was where I was at.  So where to go from there?

Well luckily I feel like I have a good grasp of what my passions are.  I love problem solving, and feel like I was given a gift in the fact that I love challenging myself to big, overwhelming, complex problems that I can pick apart, analyze, and come up with a creative solution (hence being an engineer).  But I am also drawn to human connection.  I love learning what makes people tick, what motivates them.  Instead of where do you live and what do you do, I want to know what is in the in between.  I have always loved photography, but more so I have learned, I love the ability it gives me to capture someones story; a moment in time that is authentically theirs.

But knowing your passions is only half of it.  You also have to figure out how to live out your dreams.  How to spend your days doing the things that make you feel most fulfilled.  Thankfully, a couple weeks later I came home from work with the hugest grin on my face as I had found my answer to my rut!   The Define School offers online courses for photographers of any level to learn from experts in the field (who simply want to share their knowledge).  Awesome!

(Of course this solution led to more tears as I realized it would be really hard to justify paying for further education, when what I need to be doing is saving for our September wedding.  But after sitting down with Rich and looking at our budgets, we decided it was feasible, and honestly, good for my health.)

Well today was the sign up!  Yay!  The course I picked was this:

Taught by Molly Flanagan.

It is so perfect.  Its all about non-intrusive photography, no posing allowed; simply being a witness and learning to let life speak for itself. Yes, perfect.

But then later this evening, I found myself on the website again.  I knew thatMichelle Gardella was teaching a course, and if you remember from an earlier blog, I had felt inspired to support her Kickstarter campaign "River Stories."  Since then I have followed her travels with her family via social media (instagram and her blog) and multiple times have found myself feeling deeply connected to her message, and impressed with the level of honesty and vulnerability she was willing to share with the world.

Then I read her class description:

I'll say it a hundred times: This is not a photography class. This isn't about taking pretty pictures or being the next famous photographer with 25K instagram followers. This is about creating a corner of the world that is authentically yours, and creating a life set on fire.

What moves me most is work/art/life with a purpose. A REAL purpose. And that's really the heart of my class/life. Bring purpose back to your work, your life, your moments here on this Earth.

At the end of each goal, each dream, each task, we must ask ourselves, "What is the story I am telling with this action? Is it greed? Image? Fame? or is it something with a much more beautiful and magical and meaningful footprint on this world?"

When we use our hands, when we break out of the safety zones, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable in the company of other creatives, for me, that's where the honest answers to these questions can truly be found.

This.  This is what I need.

Looks like I will be taking two courses this January!  Thankful for that inner force that always keeps me seeking, for letting curiosity and bravery lead me into new challenges, and for the things in life that bring light.

Our Story

When we drove up this fall, at first the camp felt empty.  It was still its beautiful rustic self, but the community was missing.  There wasn’t even the sound of children running around!  It was similar to that feeling you get when you go back to your college, and realize its not your place anymore, but instead is full of wide eyed, wild young “kids” that remind you that at some point you grew up…But you can’t outgrow camp. As soon as we started walking around, the energy of that place began to pour into us.  Everything at camp triggers a memory.

The ball field brought back memories of a Thursday night girls talk under the stars with my favorite group of campers, an epic staff game of wiffle ball, a joke rich told and vividly remembers as the first time he made me laugh.  White Pine brought out stories of staff weekends and the silly and creative ways in which we found to entertain ourselves on a budget.  I can still feel the spirit moving in the voices rising from a campfire, or the freeness and loss of inhibition that comes with a late night lake jump.  I am always refreshed in the quite stillness of the woods.  I can remember the butterflies of a camp crush, and how through distance, patience, challenges and time those butterflies changed to love.

Its amazing at camp, how quickly acquaintances turn to life long friends, and how the experiences at that place bond us forever.  How two summers living in servitude and simplicity have shaped our lives forever.

I recently read this blog, that talks about how each person has approximately 10 great stories we tell about ourselves, and it is these repeated stories that tell the narrative of who we are.  Well folks, camp is certainly one of our stories.  I am so grateful for these images (taken by the talented Paul Vincent).

They certainly capture our love, but also they hold in them our story and they just fill me with joy!