October - Personal 10

Its October and wedding season is coming to an end, and while it has been one of the most rewarding, tiring, emotional, whirlwind there will be one thing I don't miss; the comparison game.  Every Sunday as I uploaded my images onto Instagram, dozens of other photographers did the same, and honestly it has been exhausting.  At first I thought it would be inspiring, seeing everyones perfectly crafted couples, but it all started to feel similar.  Everyone just racing for the most likes out of their square.  

Then I took The Art of the Unexpected through The Define School and it was exactly what I needed.  Studying historically influential artists and truly moving art, I was reminded to quit creating for others, wrestle up against tough and challenging artistic concepts, and create something that moves my heart.  

And the mood of the fall season has completely enveloped me; moody color palettes, wind blown leaves, and cozy evenings spent sipping warm drinks.  Creating impressions of fall has been a breath of fresh air.   My grainy picture of coffee cups and house plants may not generate as much attention as a perfectly crafted latte, and maybe these abstract leaf images don't cause you to pause and spend time with them as they do for me.  But it doesn't matter, because these images were created from a place where I was free.    

A More Honest Story

As we drain the last drops from our cups and reach again for the bottle of wine, we hear your souls whisper, “But I’m afraid this might change everything for me if I actually started telling a more honest story.” - The Parsons 

I just spent 4 days in the BWCA (Minnesota's protected wilderness area) with 8 close girlfriends; canoeing, portaging, being chilled by the rain, drinking dirt-filled coffee, skinny dipping, filling time with long conversations, stretching up into the morning sky, taking naps in the sun, and deeply filling my lungs. 

It was the kind of trip that makes you notice your heart is pumping blood through your body, that you so exquisitely exist.  That your sore muscles are reminders that you are healthy and hold a strength you forgot.  Where a dip in the lake is washing off more then the dirt that has settled on your skin.  

I think most of us carry a weight with us, a mask of sorts.  Settling in to a version of ourselves that is watered down and gentle.  But I am always pushing for my photography to be more then that, to dig deeper for the truth.  It makes sense to start here, with my own honest story.  

I have now for almost two years done a weekly photo project, documenting about 1 image a week, but it was beginning to fade and feel shallow.  So to re-introduce a way of personal documenting I have found some help.  Starting next month a group of photographers and myself will be documenting 10 images on the 10th day of each month, from 1 day the previous month.  The premise, to be storytellers of the miraculous intimate world around each of us, and to gathering these stories together.   

So here is my first 10-on-10 (even though I am sharing WAY more then 10 images and it is on the 11th, but just give me a bit of grace).  A trip that reaffirmed my belief in gathering together with soulful women and the restorative power of nature.  

My January

The New Year:  I'm not one for new year's resolutions, in fact I am looking forward to the yoga studio to clear out and be back to the "regulars" so we are not packed mat to mat.  But still, on the last day of December, Rich and I found ourselves committing to being thoughtful about our spending in the upcoming months.  

Then after midnight, we managed to accidentally catch the most expensive taxi ride of all time.   Later in the month we had a fancy dinner we had purchased a Groupon for, only to realize the Groupon doesn't work unless you booked a reservation.  That means we paid full price, and have to go back again.  Its all about good intentions right??

New Ideas:  I was recommended this book "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up"  and both Rich and I have gotten excited about it's main concept:  going through all of your possessions and only keeping the ones that bring value and joy.  Sounds like just the thing my minimalistic-idealistic mind loves.  But also sounds like a bit of a chore, so naturally I have been putting off actually starting...

Big Plans:  With my mind shifting away from "things we need" it has definitely refocused on "things to do".   Since we are in the middle of the dark winter months, there is a lot of apartment down time, so planning for warmer adventures has seemed to be a theme.  We are both having cravings to get out in nature, planning canoe trips & googling west coast cabins.  

Random Learnings: 

I have gotten crazy protective of my weekends.  Time off seems limited and these precious days must be used to there max potential.  Thankful for girlfriends who know just the right way to relax and refuel.  (Basically it includes a lot of conversation and not much of anything else...unless that something else is wine.) 

Jan 6th  - Chalk Art.  My "it is too cold and there is not even snow to take pretty winter portraits, so I need something else to do" creative outlet. 
 

Jan 14th - So often I find myself taking photos of the things I want to hold onto.  It is not so much that I am attached to stuff but the memories items carry with them.  I think this is my way of cataloging all those little memories.  

Jan 25th - I forget how to be comfortable completely alone.  How to exist in silence and stillness.  But sometimes I give in, and this quote basically sums it up.  

“But Silence was here before anything else, and it envelops everything else. It is the most primary phenomenon of existence, both palpably something and seemingly nothing. Silence is prior to sound, not the cessation of sound. It is already present.  If we drop into quietness just for a moment, we feel the presence of Silence as an invitation."

Jan 29th - I really just wanted to take a picture so I made Rich sit here.  We literally never hang out in this room.  Our night actually just involved getting home from work late, ordering Toppers Pizza for dinner, and watching way to many episodes of Friends.