I am going to end the year short of my 52 weekly photos, right here at 48. A week ago I was disappointed at this result, convinced I should squeeze 4 more pictures out of this holiday week.
Well that didn't happen, so I am just going to have to be OK with that.
The reason I wanted a personal project was to have a little window into the year that has passed, simple little bits of my own history captured in time. I focused on trying to be careful that my intention didn't change from living out authentic moments to creating stories that I believed others want to hear. I tried to accept all the imperfect, messy, but REAL moments of my life.
Yet so, there are so many more stories, rich, deep, and just as important to my heart that never made it to this collection of photos. But maybe those memories are meant to be held in the quiet places of the heart? I find myself constantly trying to distinguish the difference from when the camera is adding benefit and when staring down at that little screen is simply a distraction...
I am going to continue my personal photo project. Mostly because I picture "old" Jess sitting in a rocking chair with stacks of photo books, laughing and crying as I move through pages of old memories. But I am going to focus on being present and camera free, during the big moments that will forever mark my heart, and instead be more aware of capturing the history of the seemingly ordinary everyday. In this sense, I hope that my camera can help me to be more present to moments I might have thought nothing of, but took the time to listen and see.
This last picture of this year is of the journal my husband and I share, mostly when we were dating and doing long distance. Now it is filled with practical things such as couch dimensions, and all the passwords to our lives, but every once in awhile sweet little notes and poems and thoughts we wanted to share. This scribbling in particular, was a big inspiration for how I want to view my personal photography in the upcoming year.
“More than not we make mistakes,
the road is rocky and we are barefoot.
But there is a reason we continue.
To hear each other and be filled with gratitude.”
See the whole 2014 Collection: The 52 Photo Project