"You put your hand on your heart and feel it beating and decide if what you wrote feels true." - Amy Poehler, Yes Please
Recently, I changed the ABOUT section of my website.
Because I realized something.
I was trying to convince each of you that I am the right photographer for you, and you should hire me to make pretty pictures right away! But the reality is, I may not be right for you. I may be too emotional, I may want to be too close. Maybe my images capture too much of what is imperfect and personal, like those wriggles you have on the corner of your eyes as you smile, or the way your chin looks when you throw your head back to laugh. Maybe you don't want to be bothered with all of that. You just want to pose, and look pretty, and call it good. I get it. As soon as I am in front of a camera I am immediately aware, and "acting natural" seems impossible to do.
But at the end of the day, this is what I am pulled to create. To me, the imperfect details are what makes life real, and beautiful and good. I want to place my hand on my heart and see if what I created feels true.
I was recently reminded of this fact when I came across my very first critiqued photo assignment (over six years old). As I brushed off the dust and looked at these images I realized something.
First, I have always been fearless. I was in Photography 101, and while everyone else was turning in pictures of bowls of fruit, for my first assignment I turned in nude portraits!
But even more so, these photos are a reminder. That before I ever thought of doing wedding photography, before I had taken a bunch of classes, when I simply wanted to be creating photographs and there was no one I was comparing myself to, this is what I felt called to create. I wanted to get in close and capture something honest, and emotional, and true.
I love that these images still speak to what I want to create today. I don't want a bunch of studio lights, or to force people into unnatural poses. I simply want to provide SPACE. To be fully present. To breath, and pause, and take it all in. To live WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
And then to have that moment, that slice of your real life, to hold onto.
So that, you too, can have something to dust off, re-live, and still feel that it is so beautifully and authentically you.
This is me, and this is what I have to give.